#100 - Cow Milked

Cows are harder to extract milk from than I would have thought. Milking takes technique, rhythm, strength and patience (the latter being mostly on the part of the cow). It's actually pretty fun.

I went to Wildwood Farm in Pouce Coupe, B.C., a mixed organic farm that lived up to all my expectations and more. Tim and Linda Ewert and their son Woodstock and his girlfriend Gabrielle run the farm off the grid, using solar and battery power (and horse power -- Time works a team of draft horses in the fields!)

They're total hippies who started the farm from scratch, clearing the bush themselves and building everything including their house themselves, too. I really admire their philosophy of living off the land, and respecting the land and the animals that supply them. They have two small herds of pigs, a small flock of chickens, about six horses, a few beef and three dairy cows, plus a couple of dogs.

They grow all sorts of fruit and veggies, and they have bees on their farm, from which they get gorgeous white clover honey. Tim says 90 per cent of the food they eat comes from their own farm. And wow, they eat well. Home-smoked bacon, fresh eggs and organic, raw milk is better than any breakfast you could pay for at Denny's any day.

I did a lot of hard work as a WOOFer, like weeding, watering and washing dishes, but I also got to do a lot of fun things, too, like gathering eggs, feeding the piglets, and, of course, milking twice a day (7 a.m. and 7 p.m.)

It's hard to get the squeezing technique right the first time. You have to start at the top of the teat and work your way down, squeezing each finger individually until you get all the milk out and then let go and wait till it re-fills. Tim said he was impressed I managed to get any milk out on my first try. I didn't completely empty the udder that day, but for the next three days I milked in the morning and the evening and by day four I was getting all the milk out. It's pretty hard on the hands (takes a lot of strength), like squeezing a physio ball over and over again for 20 minutes. The cow has four teats, which come out of four separate chambers in the udder. Tim says it's common for one to be bigger than the others. I noticed that with both dairy cows I milked. Both Sepia and Heidi were very nice and patient cows who let me take way longer than they're used to. I really enjoyed milking first thing in the morning, in the early light in the barn, where it was quiet and cool. I'm sure my hands are stronger for it, too.

What an awesome life it is on an organic farm. Just like Charlotte's Web, come to life. I could definitely see myself living that type of life. Maybe I'll have to get my own dairy cow one day so I can have fresh, raw, unhomogenized, organic milk. I know the cow is much happier about it being done that way then a big, nasty machine in a cement-floored factory taking her milk. How could she not be? Tim personally thanks her when he's done every day and then gives her a little pat before letting her back out into the pasture.

Bring On The Milk!

I have located a dairy cow with a full udder. I'm ready.

Joined WWOOF Canada (Worldwide Opportunities on Organic Farms, formerly known as Willing Workers On Organic Farms) online for a $50 one-year membership, which grants me access to contacts for all WWOOF farms in the country. Seems like a steep price to find a dairy cow, but what the hey. I'm that much closer to goal #100: milk a cow.

Hit a snag at first. I thought I had it all organized last week. I found a farm north of Kamloops that sounds lovely -- they said they have a couple of dairy cows, some laying hens, they grow hay, etc. in true Charlotte Web style, but I found out yesterday that their "girls" have all "dried up." This city girl needs some edjumacatin' in the way of dairying. What the hell is he talking about? Why would your cow  suddenly stop producing milk? Isn't it something to do with a baby cow being around? Can't you just borrow one from the neighbour while I'm there? Anyway, I emailed the farmer back and politely declined the offer to take me on for a week. If there's no cow, there's no point.

Found another farm way, way, way up north, in Pouce Coupe, B.C. where they've guaranteed me at least one cow that won't be "dried up" by the time I arrive in two weeks. Seeing as I'll be visiting friends in Fort Saint John next week anyway, Pouce Coupe is just a hop and a jump south and I'll get to learn all about organic farming (well, let's be honest, it'll probably be more about washing dishes and weeding than anything) and a chance to find out where my 2% comes from. Yeah, okay, the milk on my Cheerios probably comes from miserable machine-drained heifers in the Fraser Valley but I'll learn something about the dairy process, which at this point I know absolutely nothing. In fact, I'm only 99 per cent sure the milk I drink actually comes from a cow.

The point is, I'm not really looking forward to all the hard work they're going to make me do, but I am looking forward to finding out what an organic farm is like, with their horse-drawn plow and old-school ways of doing things and crossing an item off my bucket list. I think it could be fun. An adventure, if nothing else.