Cooking is stressful and more trouble than it's worth. This morning I made scrambled eggs with toast, juice, sliced apple and coffee. Healthy and enjoyable, but would have been so much better if someone else had made it for me. By the time I spilled raw egg on my slippers, burnt the toast, and overcooked the eggs, I'd almost lost my appetite. Either I need to find a job that pays enough that I can afford to employ a personal chef, or I need to take cooking classes. You know you're not good with food when making a simple breakfast is a total headache.
I've heard The Joy of Cooking is a good place to start for the novice in the kitchen. Maybe I should invest in this and a few other cookbooks.
I'm also wondering about the whole vegetarian diet. I'm less likely to give myself food poisoning if I screw up and under-cook a mushroom burger than forget to store leftover chicken casserole properly. And no one likes salmonella first thing in the morning. Maybe that's the way to go. Kill to two stones with one bird: learn to cook and become a semi-vegan at the same time.
Living off hot dogs and Five Alive is so 2004. I need to learn to be a grown-up and make meals that consist of more than just one type of pasta or tepid soup from a can. The one benefit to not being a food snob is that avocado on toast and a glass of milk can make me very happy, but it's going to become a problem when I do decide to throw a dinner party for friends who will no longer be impressed by beer and pizza.